So lately (and by that I mean like within the last five years or so) people have been giving Disney a pretty hard time about setting up kids to have warped views of romance. You know, the whole thing about how the princesses are too passive and how everybody meets for like 30 seconds before they get married and stuff. Which, granted, Disney took a stab at fixing in later years.
But to be honest with you, none of those things have ever seemed like that big of a problem to me. So Disney has some unrealistic representations of romance. So what? Disney, and LITERALLY EVERY OTHER MOVIE EVER MADE. It’s nothing unique, and with a little counseling we’ll all be fine.
My beef with Disney is a little different.
You see, while the rest of the world is crusading against “Someday My Prince Will Come”, I’m just over here like why can’t I clean my house with magic.
But actually though. Every Disney movie I watched as a kid portrayed cleaning as some sort of fun game where all the little animals help you dust things and everyone sings and it’s like a giant party.
I mean, look how much fun they’re having! The dishes are all dancing around and the mops and brooms just do everything themselves and it looks like a grand old time.
BUT NO. In real life, actual cleaning is the literal worst thing. Little woodland creatures do not help you, and no matter how many spells I cast, my broom remains stubbornly immobile.
Mary Poppins lied. A spoonful of sugar does NOT HELP the medicine go down. (Also actual sugar + meds = probably gross).
Also, I think we should take a poll of the number of kids who tried snapping at things to put them away after watching this movie. What I would give to be able to just snap everything back in place. I even got desperate enough to try it once or twice in college.
I also remain excruciatingly disappointed that Merlin has NEVER ONCE appeared to magically enchant my dirty dishes into washing themselves. This was especially dismaying during the few years I lived in an apartment without a dishwasher. My kitchen actually looked like the beginning of this video.
AND, as many times as I have sung a happy working song, still no animals have appeared to help me. My cat just stares. Though, to be fair, at least in Enchanted Disney’s poking fun at themselves.
Or possibly just poking fun at this specific Snow White scene:
But anyway, my point is, if you want to get pissed at Disney for misrepresenting things, don’t waste your time with that whole romance thing. Disney’s real problem is the systemic portrayal of cleaning as a fun, and enjoyable experience.
NEW FLASH, KIDS. It’s not, cleaning is not fun. If you want an accurate portrayal of the nightmare of cleaning, there is only one Disney movie that even comes close.
If you want the truth, here it is. Cleaning is like being chased by an endless supply of unstoppable demon brooms. The end.